My first solo shamisen performance

Even though I have played the shamisen with my "Oka-san", geisha mother and my "O-ne-san", geisha sisters, many times at parties, I've not played the shamisen solo as a "Zikata", a musical accompanist to dancers, yet.

My oka-san said to me that my skill as a soloist was not up to professional standard yet, so I should play the shamisen with her or my o-ne-sans.

Actually when I passed her assessment of my playing on my birthday, I misunderstood that I could only play the shamisen solo the song which she had assessed me on.
However actually she just permitted that I could play that song together with her.

One day, I asked her whether I could play the shamisen solo at a special party in which my friends and friends' friends were customers, because one of their purpose of attending the party was to see my activity as a geisha.

They knew that I had wanted to play the shamisen as a "Zikata", which is why I became a full-time geisha.

However when I requested my oka-san's permission, she didn't allow me to play the shamisen solo even though it was only in front of my friends. I was shocked.

After several days, she unexpectedly sent me an email in the morning.
In her email, she wanted me to play the shamisen solo at that day's evening party.

I was confused, however I soon realized that it was out of her kindness that she would give me a chance.

Before the party, she checked my performance again. I played the song which she had requested me to play at the party.

I really got tense, because she sat very close in front of me.

In addition, unfortunately, one string suddenly broke, so I had to change it rapidly.

In fact, it's difficult to tune the shamisen, because shamisen strings are prone stretch, especially after stringing.

When my shamisen string broke, I didn't stretch it thoroughly while I was stringing it, so during my performance, my shamisen was out of tune.
Furthermore, I'm not used to tuning while playing.

My oka-san said to me that when I play the shamisen solo, I should be able to change the strings and tune them smoothly by myself.
I realized that I wasn't yet ready to perform as a professional "Zikata".

She also pointed out somethings about my singing. She said to me that my vocalization had too much of a rural twang, so I should enunciate my voice more clearly.

She added that my performance at the party was just optional entertainment, not as a professional "Zikata".
She also said to me that she would dance with my performance.

I felt nervous, however I really felt her kindness at the same time.

At the party, I didn't want to drink, even if the customers requested me to drink together, because I was afraid that if I drunk, I wouldn't be able to play the shamisen perfectly. However in the end I drunk a bit.

Finally, the time of our performance came. I felt my face became red. I realized that I was panicking, because it was my first time to play the shamisen solo.

I desperately played the shamisen while I was singing. While I was playing, I followed my oka-san's dance.
I was very happy after I finished playing.

Some customers said to my oka-san and me that my shamisen and singing were good, and I might have a good sense of shamisen performance. I was really glad.

However through this experience, I realized that I really relied heavily on oka-san's performance.
I have decided to do my best to become a professional "Zikata", not just a shamisen player.